Live Like We’re Dying

Image courtesy of Dynamite Imagery/

So it’s that time of the year when I start thinking about getting older (and hopefully wiser, hehe).  It’s funny how the climb up the proverbial “hill” seems so long and slow when we’re young, but once we hit the top, it feels like we’re stuck in an avalanche and the ride down is fast, scary and out of control!  I think for me, the reality of being “over the hill” hit me when I realized I am (as we all are) trapped inside an aging body.  I owe this revelation in part to the hairdresser that cut my hair recently who kept commenting on all the gray hair I have and to the numbness I now feel in my feet sometimes when I sit too long!  Even with the fortune of having Asian genes on my side, I am definitely not looking or feeling like a spring chicken anymore!        

I completely understand now why my mom doesn’t like celebrating birthdays anymore and why people go through mid-life crises.  You get to a point where you know youthfulness (especially the high metabolism part of it) is temporary and wrinkles are permanent.  And you wonder (or at least I’m starting to) if you’re making the most of your days.  And I’m accepting the fact that I only have one life to live and this is it.

All this makes me think of bucket lists.  I don’t have one written down, but if I did, it would go something like this (in no particular order):

1. Enjoy each day and all the big and small moments
2. Pass on to my kids what matters most – faith in God and care for others
3. Write and publish a book(s)
4. Make sure my kids know they are loved
5. Laugh more and complain less
6. Be thankful
7. Continue to grow

Even though I don’t look forward to aging, I’m going to look on the bright side and be thankful for all the years I’ve had so far to live, learn and love.  And I’m going to stock up on some anti-wrinkle cream.  🙂 

This song by Kris Allen reminds us to “Live Like We’re Dying“. 

What’s on your bucket list?


Brighter Than The Sun

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/

Hubby and I belong to a couples’ group and one of the recent icebreaker questions we had to answer was, “On a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being highest), how would you rate your marriage?”  Each spouse had to answer the question and thankfully hubby answered first (haha).  I actually don’t remember the number he said, but it was something “safe” like a 7 or 8.  My answer was probably “safer”; I said, “It varies, sometimes it’s a 7 or 8, sometimes it’s a 2, but I married a 10.”  Good answer, huh?  🙂  

I’m not trying to be cheesy, but I feel very blessed to have married my hubby.  I know he puts me (and the kids) first and even my mom comments on how well he treats me (that’s a definite compliment!).  He has been my number one supporter, giving me the okay to quit my full-time job so I could go to school full time to finish my degree faster.  It meant he had to work harder to make sure we could be financially secure, but he never complained.  He has been there supporting me throughout the births of two kids and the aftermath of crazy, sleepless nights and even encouraged me in breastfeeding (he jokes that he was my lactation consultant).  😛  He has supported me in being a stay at home mom, which means listening to my emotional rants and working even harder to provide for us.  He has seen the worst parts of me, yet still treasures me enough to have sold his prized camera to buy me diamond earrings for our anniversary.  I truly did marry a 10.

I’m thankful that we got married when we were fairly young and were able to do some growing up together.  There’s a quote I read from a book that says many of the wounds we have were caused by people and yet ironically (and appropriately so), it’s also people who help heal our wounds.  God has definitely used my hubby to help in my personal growth and healing.  I don’t know where I’d be without him.  Well, I’d likely be a prickly (think porcupine) and unhappy person.  Instead, I am a more confident, happy and whole person today.

I try to remind myself each day to be a “10” for him and to do my part in making our relationship the best it can be.  Even on those “2” days when we barely talk (asking “Are you coming home yet?” doesn’t really count as quality conversation) and I am exhausted from dealing with the kids’ tantrums, I make the effort to smile when hubby comes home (haha).  Believe me, it would be a lot easier to just hand off the kids and run out the door (for retail therapy!), but it means a lot more to stay and connect with him.  I know that if we commit to making our marriage a top priority throughout all of life’s ups and downs, we can someday reach that ultimate score of “10”.  Well, we could at least get a “10” for effort.  🙂

This song by Colbie Caillat is a good reminder of why I ought to treat hubby better than anything I’ve ever had… cause his love has brightened my life – “Brighter Than the Sun“.  🙂

Who has brightened your life?

It’s a Good Life

I’ve been telling people this past year that I want to be a more fun person.  I almost wanted to make it my new year’s resolution, but then, if you make being fun an assignment, it really isn’t that fun anymore, is it?  😛 So it’s been more of a self-analytical learning process that I’ve been on – trying to understand why I’m so square and finding ways to not be. 🙂  There’s likely a dozen reasons why I am the way I am, but it all really comes down to genetics and upbringing, which are things I can’t change, so I just need to make do with what I’ve got!  I especially want to inject more fun into myself so I can be a positive influence on E and C.  I mean, what kid wants a party pooper (aka. little old me) raining on their parade every day?  

For starters, I’m really trying to put aside the anal part of myself when I play with the kids.  This is difficult because for some strange reason (haha) I find myself wanting to clean up whenever I am supposed to be playing.  I even use the excuse that it will give us more space on the floor to play on if I just put the legos or books or cars away first!  This definitely doesn’t go over well with the kids who couldn’t care less how many things are obstructing the carpet.  So my motto now is “play first, clean up later”.   Once all the fun is over, there will still be plenty of toys to put away (and cleaning up can be made into a game itself!).

I’ve discovered though that I’m not very good at playing.  Maybe I’m just not into racing hot wheel cars or playing grocery store for hours on end.  A lot of times I find my mind wandering to things I want to get done (ie. dishes) or trying to stifle a yawn.  😛  Hubby, on the other hand, can make any activity fun and interesting for the kids.  The other day he set some cotton balls on fire with a new flint he bought – all this on the dining room table!  The kids were fairly entertained as I hovered nearby with a fire extinguisher in hand (not really cause we don’t own one, but it would have been nice!). 

The other issue I have that hinders my fun-ness is that I try to micromanage the kids’ fun. 😛  I think many parents do this from what I’ve overheard on the playground: “Don’t touch the dirt!” and “Pour the sand here, not there!”  And at home, it’s hard not to cringe when the kids want to mix different play dough colors together or when ingredients go flying all over the kitchen counter when we’re making muffins.  But I’m trying to reign in my nit-picking and just go with the flow! 

Honestly, life (especially childhood) is too short to not have fun.  And I will stay square if I miss out on these spontaneous and carefree moments.  Thank God that I have this second chance to be a kid again, or maybe for the first time cause hubby calls me “the one without a childhood”.  😛  Just gotta remind myself not to complain because it really is a good life (if I don’t let my squareness get in the way!).  🙂

Here are some pictures of my recent fun (aka. mostly non-anal and non-micromanaging) times of playing with the kids:



And here’s a song by One Republic, “Good Life“, that gets you moving!

What makes your life a good life?