Happy August, everyone! And a warm welcome to those who are new to this blog. I’m so glad you’re here. I feel bad I haven’t been posting regularly, but there was a thing called life—and more specifically, kids—that grabbed my attention for the better part of three months! But school has started, so thank the Lord for that. 😉
Speaking of thanking God, there’s so much I’m grateful to Him for, even the life lessons I’ve struggled to learn. This summer was a big turning point for me personally in being able to tackle and overcome challenges. Because, for the first year ever, the munchkins spent their vacation at home instead of going to summer school. And I had to learn how to adjust my expectations and attitude—big time! Meaning, I had to throw my “me time” out the window and focus on my hardest, most challenging job of being a mom. For an almost only child who is a recovering perfectionist (aka. control freak) who happens to also be highly sensitive, this was no small feat. Mainly because I wanted to make my time with my kids enjoyable. Which meant saying no to yelling, to harboring resentment, and to putting my work first. Instead, I wanted—wanted, being the key word—to say yes to having fun together, to spending quality and quantity time, and to making my kids a priority in my heart, mind, and schedule. (Did I mention, I’m an overachiever, too?) But of course, wanting and doing are often two very different things.
So, did I make it?
Well, yes … and no. 😉 I was pretty amazed at myself (haha!) and would probably give myself at least a B+, maybe even an A-, for my efforts. My kids though? They’re a much harder crowd to please.
During our last week of vacation, I took them out for lunch to one of their favorite noodle places. While we slurped up noodles and crunched on fried won tons, I asked them what they thought of their summer. How did it compare to previous years when they had gone to summer school? How was it different this year since they got to stay home? I pretty much asked the question every which way possible, making sure to hint at the fact that it should have been a very different, totally more awesome, summer vacation because I, their amazing mother, had spent the better part of sixty days with them. I was practically shining my “Best Mother of the Year” trophy by the end of my speech.
And what did they say?
Nothing. *Cue the sound of crickets*
Maybe their mouths were too full to answer? Maybe they were so in awe of my sacrificial nature that they were speechless? Haha, nope! When my oldest munchkin finally swallowed his food, he replied with a straight face, “My mother yelled too much.”
WHAT?!?! How rude! (And yes, my kids like to refer to me in the third person for some strange reason. LOL)
When I relayed this conversation to hubby later, he tried to console me by saying, “The kids wouldn’t have said any of the things you wanted them to say.”
Hmph. Okay, fine. I guess it wasn’t realistic to expect them to break out in a round of applause and give me a standing ovation in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Or for them to break down in happy tears as they showered me with praise. Now that I’m thinking about this, I can see very clearly how out of my mind I was to have even asked the question in the first place. 😉 Especially since my pre-teens no longer think I’m cool and are more apt to roll their eyes and make sarcastic comments. (And for the record, I raised my voice a LOT less this summer! LOL)
Anyhow, I’ve come to realize that I can’t parent my kids expecting to receive anything in return. Of course there are appropriate times for good manners and etiquette, but when it comes to making sacrifices for my kids, it’s not a give and take situation. It’s a one hundred percent commitment on my part to be the best parent I can be. To care, lead, guide, teach, listen to and yes, to sacrifice for them because I choose to. Not because I’ll get anything in return.
You could say I’m parenting for the love of it.
Doing anything you’re passionate about requires time, endurance, and sacrifice. So much sacrifice. But it’s worth it. Because my kids are worth it. 🙂
What are you doing simply for the love of it?