Last night I was putting C to bed when she turned to me and asked in her innocent munchkin voice, “When I was dizzy, why did you just pat me?”
Flashback to a few weeks ago. C had woken up one morning feeling like the whole house was moving (which could be possible since we live in earthquake territory). We guessed she had caught some kind of bug that was making her seasick on land. The poor girl couldn’t even sleep because the dizziness got worse whenever she closed her eyes. 🙁 So there we were, the two of us on the bed with me trying to console her by rubbing (or in her words, patting) her on the back.
“I don’t know. I thought it would help,” I answered sheepishly.
She continued giving me a talking-to. “You should have given me a bowl.”
“Okay,” I acknowledged. (To my credit, I did get her a tupperware bowl from the kitchen later on when it looked like she might lose the contents of her stomach.)
“You should know,” she admonished. “You’re a mom.”
Ooh, ouch. Can we say #momfail? I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Who did C think I was? Superwoman? A mind-reader? Apparently, neither. She just thinks I’m a mom.
And as her mom, I wanted to tell her I’m only human. I’ve never done this before, and by “this”, I mean the whole mamahood thing. The crazy and wonderful “be responsible for raising a person” gig. For the past 9+ years, I’ve been learning every day on the job and it’s been a steep learning curve.
Some Most times I don’t say or do the right thing, and I know I could do better.
Yes, dear daughter, I am a mom. And there’s obviously a lot I don’t know, but I’m taking notes (thank you, little teacher).
There are some things I do know though. Mamahood is easier when I admit I don’t know everything. My heart stretches and expands when I am open to hearing you and learning from you. As you are gentle and patient with me, I grow in my gentleness and patience for you. Being a mom has been the most terrifying and humbling experience of my life; it has also been the most impactful. Honestly, I’m a better person because of you (and E).
And the most important thing I know is this: You are mine, and I am yours.
What an honor it is to be a mom.
Take a listen to this beautiful song about mamahood by Mindy Gledhill, “Hourglass”. It was introduced to me by fellow mama blogger Amy of Swag on Momma.
How have your relationships with your parents and/or children shaped you?