Being the cautious, timid person that I am, I hate taking chances. Anything that involves speed, pointy objects, dirt, strangers or, generally speaking, the unknown are pretty much no-no’s in my book. Why? Because being around those things involves risk and risky business has the word vulnerable written all over it. Let me rephrase that because it should really be written in bold and all caps: Risky business has the word VULNERABLE written all over it. Ahh, that’s better. 🙂
You should have seen me at the doctor’s a month ago while I was waiting to get some lab work done. I had been putting the blood test off for years. The initial request my doctor placed had expired because I had waited too long, so she had to put in another one. That’s how much I dreaded getting my blood drawn. (I’m shuddering even now as I type the “b” word). There’s a great sense of vulnerability I experience when I expose the crook of my arm to a long, sharp needle. But I knew I needed to put on my big girl pants and (insert unintended Nike commercial) just do it. So there I sat in a room full of people waiting for my name to be called, all the while practicing my deep breathing and reading Psalm 23. (Yes, desperate times call for desperate measures!) When they finally called me up, I walked into the room, sat down, rolled up my sleeve and closed my eyes. I warned the phlebotomist, “I get kind of nervous about this” to which she responded, “Do you want to lie down?” I eagerly nodded, thankful I could stall the inevitable poking for another minute or two. She led me to a room with a bed and got me settled in it. Then she got out her equipment and went to work. Okay, I’m going to spare you the rest of the details, but let’s just say I survived to tell the tale.
When I got home and showed the kids my battle scar, I told them the whole story of how I triumphantly made it out of my dark valley. C asked me, “Did anyone else have to lie on the bed?” I answered, “No.” Then she proclaimed, “You’re weird, mom!”
Thanks a lot. 😛
Sure, maybe I am being a bit overly dramatic about getting my blood drawn, but I think it’s safe to say that most people don’t like doing things that make them feel out of control.
Hmm, I feel like I blog about this topic a lot. Or maybe I just think about it often. Which is not a bad thing I suppose because I am constantly reminding myself to not be so controlling. To be comfortable with being uncomfortable (this is a line from one of my yoga DVD’s that makes me groan whenever I hear it). To take risks. To be vulnerable.
I decided recently to take a chance and do something I said I would never do – write fiction. I have nothing against fiction; I love reading novels, especially romantic ones. But the thing with fiction books is that they require a lot of words and a lot of imagination. I like writing pieces that are brief (under 1000 words) and truthful (based on real life). To do otherwise is completely out of my comfort zone. But guess what? I’m starting to enjoy it. I’ve written a story with over 22,000 words so far. I like thinking up characters and bringing them to life. I find satisfaction in planning out the story line and having it go wherever I want it to go.
The best part is this: There are no rules or directions, but plenty of chances for freedom and creativity.
And that’s exactly what this square gal needs. 🙂
Here’s Kara DioGuardi and Dave Stewart’s song, “Taking Chances“. It’s a romantic song, but the chorus still applies. 😉
What do you want to take a chance on?